Legalize it.

It turns out that arriving to and entering Finland was easy. Unfortunately, long gone the days of Victoria, my British Passport mighty as it has been doesn't allow me just to waltz into town and work/sign on/get sick as and when I want.

So, I've had to wander through the bureaucratic hoops to get into the system. Here's how to do it.

• ADVICE: First the City Hall on Esplanadi has an advice service (and free wifi and amazing toilets, also free). Make an appointment (they seem keen on appointments here) and Hamed will talk you through your options which basically boil down to, get someone to offer you a job.
• TAX: Once you have a job and more importantly a contract, and it doesn't seem to have to be a particularly concrete one, go and see Vero, the tax office. I love tax offices. Perhaps unsurprisingly they're always the most efficient and coherent government institution and Vero is no exception. The only problem is when the one employee attending the immigrants disappears off for lunch for an hour and you just have to wait for her to come back. Tip, get there early. However, once she sees your contract she'll give you an ID number (Henkilötunnus) and you're in. You can now pay taxes - Huzzah!
• FIVE-O: Then go to International Police where a big viking man will send you to the lovely lady who will explain in perfect English that you don't really need to sign in and you're free to work here as long as you leave the country every three months. 
• BANK: Another appointment will get you a meeting with a bank person. Mine's called Matilda. As long as you have the Henkilötunnus (above), a contract and you haven't previously stiffed any Finnish banks then they'll give you an account and you get to choose from a selection of 12 designs for your debit card. I went for cassette. Retro. 
• DOLE: I also registered at the cleanest job centre I've ever seen in my life but I'm yet to hear back from them.

English Job Centre

And that's it. You're good to go. Everyone was lovely, they all spoke good English and knew their job.

Not sure what'll happen if the idiots back home decide to take Britain out of the EU but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

For now, all being well, I'll be working by the end of the month. Hello Finland.