Goodbye Ruka.

Hello again everyone. It's been a while. Working up north left me little time to waffle here but now I'm back in Helsinki which, overcome with Star Wars fever, has dressed up as Ice Planet Hoth.

Helsinki

More about the frozen fun later, first let me first wrap up all things Ruka-related.

Christmas came and went and Girlf. arrived with Dog to makes things festive but mostly so we could watch Dog's first experience with snow. We have now established that her feet are cold-proof down to about -10 degrees. At -25 she malfunctions completely and I have to carry her home in my arms.

Dog auditioning for Cinderella

Christmas in Finland consisted of making lamps out of snowballs and a candle, and fantastically complicated and improvised lies about Joulupukki (Father Christmas) and his family/wife/elf sweat shop.

Girlf's snow lamp. So talented. 

For Christmas dinner we were kindly invited to Kuksa, a swish restaurant with an all-you-can-eat buffet. The traditional offerings in Finland include a variety of what are called casseroles but are actually mashed vegetables (the swede is particularly good). These accompany salads, delicious mushrooms and lots of delicious fish including the wonderful smoked perch.

Perch (pre-smoking. Low-tar)

The guides had been assuring me that you could eat the perch that we'd been catching all month so it was nice to finally do so. These were certainly more goodies on offer but the bosses decided to buy a three-litre bottle of wine so the details are a little groggy.

How the world looks when you buy giant wine

The next day I was back at work then Girlf. went back to the capital and soon it was New Years Eve. Again, the bosses looked after us and treated us to beers and sauna. Here we also discussed the local hooch, Jalovina, which according to Wikipedia is a Cut Brandy.

The one-star has a generous 30% of brandy mixed in with the white-spirit/anti freeze that fills up the rest of the plastic bottle. However, it ain't too bad. Outside fireworks exploded all over the moonlit valley flashing the skies and booming across the frozen lakes. Pretty good start to 2016.

So finally, still under the delusion that somebody might actually find some useful information among te waffle on this blog, let me mention a few names.

• Ruka Adventures. Great company, lovely people and the guides really know their stuff. Thanks to them I now know how many hairs per cm2 of reindeer and I can catch perch in a frozen lake.
• Motel Willis West. Cheap and Cheerful and the German boss is the finest caterer in the region.
• Sport House Ruka. Lovely people. Sorted me out with some cross country skis.
• Erä-Susi Husky Farm. 200 huskies and an owner that looks like a Lord Of The Rings character. What's not to like? Also, driving a husky sled is something that everyone should do before they die.

In conclusion. An amazing experience. I want to go back and I'm already hatching a brilliant plan as to how. Ruka/Kuusamo is a great place to live. The contact with nature is so satisfying and the people that live there, like the trees covered in snow, seem to get along calmly and happily and with a glint in their eye that knowingly says, "my life is better than yours". 

   Guiding (or assisting to the guide) can be hard work. Thirty Spanish people can have a lot of problems and dealing with them takes patience and there wasn't a day that I didn't get home exhausted, but also happy. When your work day involves driving snowmobiles to the lake for ice-fishing you know you're onto a winner. 

 This video is insane

   Finally, the area is perfect. In winter, as well as all the activities mentioned above, there is ice climbing and masses of cross country skiing, In summer the area is popular for its rivers and trekking, especally the 80km Karhunkierros trail (the Bear Trail). There are also bears. And Elk. Go there.

Hello everybody. It's been a while but life just got a bit crazy. I'm no longer in Helsinki but before I get to that I'll just mention two places which you must visit.

Pub Sirdie.

This place is wonderful, the best I've seen in Finland. It's website alone is brilliantly nostalgic.  Tiny, toasty, no frills. Just how I like a pub. Go there,

Sandro.

There are two of these in Helsinki. We went to the new one in Punavuori (Tehtaankatu 34 D).
Girlf. reserved a table (recommended) for the brunch, which seems to be a more acceptable way for middle-class people to say All-You-Can-Eat. The food is vegetarian and north-african/middle eastern and I honsetly don't remeber a time I ate so well (and so much). Go there.

So. On with the story.

The reason we went to Sandro was because Girlf. was treating me to a celebration brunch because I'd just been offered a job in Ruka.

Basically we'd been talking about the possibility of working in Lapland so I sent a general enquiry type email to a tourism company Girlf. knew. A few weeks later a reply arrived asking if I could come and work for them the following week. The ever-amazing Girlf. agreed to take on the responsibility for Dog and Cat so I dashed to the train station, sprinted past Bill Murray, ran along the platform and jumped onto the overnight train heading north.

Here's a video of it all.

I've been here almost a week and it's great. Ruka is a ski and tourism centre for (mostly) Spanish tourists who want lots of photos of the real Christmas. My job is to translate the instructions they need to understand in order not to die whilst Ice-Fishing, Snowmobiling, Ice-Karting and riding in reindeer or dog sleds. A lot of the time my job is trying to keep kids happy whilst they're shivering on a frozen lake. It's an amazing place. The monochrome indifference of the landscape is so exciting. Cold winds with cold ice and cold toes. It makes you feel tough and crazed at the same time. How did I get here? What are we doing!

As for the activities. In case you were wondering, here's my round-up.

• Ice-fishing. Surprisingly effective. Often bleak. Cold. 
• Ice Karting. Slidy. Makes me hear bleeps and music of Mario Kart all day. 
• Reindeer sled rides. Nice view of  a Reindeer's arse. Reindeers very good at looking unimpressed by the guests, especially the kids. 
• Dog sled rides. The single most beautiful activity ever. Silent sliding through wintry twilight, leaning into curves, tapping the foot brake and watching dogs ahead bounce along like schools of porpoise. Glorious. 
• Snowmobiling. Noisy, stinky, obnoxious but haring across a frozen lake at 70 kmph is great. 

I'm here until the first week of January and I've already realised that from now on I will need a northern winter for at least one month of every year for the rest of my life.

Here are some photos.

Overnight train. 

Dining car. Vodka Martini please. 

Noisy up the forest!

If I ever live here this will be my first purchase

Leave us alone

Un reined-deer

Happiness is cross-country skiing

Some people really want to fish